My mom is in the hospital and I know she's okay but I'm still scared

I feel dead. At two thirty this afternoon, mom opened my door, crying and shaky, on the phone with 911. Nurses from the medical clinic came to our house, as did an ambulance. Everyone assured me she would be okay. My stepdad wasn't here, nor was my brother. It was just me. Helping the EMTs out the door. Shooeing cats away.

Ken called a few minutes ago. Said that they don't know what's wrong, but she's okay. It's not serious. How can he be so calm when I'm crying on the other end? I talked to Mom too.....you can't believe my relief hearing her voice....we don't know when she's coming home...doesn't matter, really. She's okay and I dont' want anything more.

I wish today was a dream. It feels like it. Why is it when I want to be a child, live like one, try not to worry....I have to be the most adult I've ever been? It's so scary. An ambulance in my driveway. EMT's in my hall. A gurney downstairs. Mom breathing with a tank. That's dream material, not real life.

I noticed that when I stress out, I pull my hair back and hold onto it. It's short, so I have to hold it. I don't know why, but it doesn't make me feel much better.

Bye...